Dumbfuck of the Day
December 29th, 2010
Tucker Carlson is Still a Dick
Here’s his latest attempt to make a name for himself:
And here’s the greatest thing to ever happen to Carlson:
May 13th, 2010
Time for an Organized Lawn Piss
So yesterday some clown in the southern suburb of University Park saw a dog take a piss on his lawn. The guy, a former Marine who is apparently obsessed with his pretty lawn, ran out to confront the pissing dog’s owner, a young father of two with a third kid on the way.
Words were said and the old former Marine pulled a gun. The young guy stupidly told the guy next time he pulls the gun, he should use. The guy decides to not wait for the next time and promptly murders the dog owner.
If I had a bully pulpit of any size, I would organize dog owners around Chicago to all go to this guys house and have all of their dogs piss on the lawn. The address is apparently 530 Landau. Anyone want to give me and Fred a ride?
December 21st, 2008
Dumbfuck of the Day: My Dog-Hating Neighbor
When I returned from walking Fred this morning in -5 degree weather (wind chill of -30), I saw an envelope taped to my mailbox. It was a letter from an anonymous neighbor complaining about “incessant noise” from two dogs. This person claims to have already been “battling with 2 tenants in my own building” for months and that those people have moved yet s/he’s still hearing noise from barking dogs.
Anonymous neighbor says s/he did an experiment in which s/he rang different doorbells in my building and when s/he rang mine, the barking was “quite loud…so I’m assuming these animals belong to you.”
S/he informed me that s/he has already called Animal Control about the animals in her building and that if s/he hears more barking upon return from vacation on December 28, s/he will call Animal Control and my building’s management.
This person is facing a few obstacles. First, I don’t think Animal Control can do anything about this. Second, as long as my neighbors don’t complain, my building management has no reason to care. Third, I only have one dog and anonymous neighbor says there are two. Fourth, and this is the big one, Fred doesn’t bark much at home, though he probably does when someone rings the doorbell and I’m not home. That said, I may start training him to bark all day.
If Fred actually barked a lot when I wasn’t home, I’d gladly buy one of those citronella releasing collars that stop the barking. But he’s not the problem here; that would be the whiny neighbor who moved into a dog-friendly apartment building but apparently hates dogs. I look forward to Round II of this battle.
November 1st, 2008
Dumbfuck of the Day: Shirley Nagel
Shirley Nagel lives in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan. On Halloween, she posted a note outside her house that read: “No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.”
When Trick-or-Treaters came by, she actually asked them who they were supporting for President. If they said Obama, she turned them away. If they said McCain, judging from this video, she gave the a package of M&M’s attached to a McCain/Palin flyer.
When asked about making kids cry, she responded, “Oh well. Everybody has a choice.”
She’s right. Everyone does have a choice. And if you choose to contact Ms. Nagel, you can find that information here.