July, 2008
July 27th, 2008
Theriot Is Starting To Make Me Look Like A Genius
Since I did the research that went into my previous post about Ryan Theriot, I have been much more vocal while at Cubs games about how much he has no business being a starting shortstop in major league baseball. At today’s game, I berated Theriot early and often. He responded by going 1-4 with 2 strikeouts and failed to throw out a runner on a fairly routine ground ball. If he didn’t have to do a complete windup before throwing in order to get the ball all the way to first base, the runner would have been out.
Much more importantly, Theriot’s deficiencies did not prevent the Cubs from an exciting come-from-behind win, reclaiming sole possession of first place. Life is good.
Another highlight of today’s game was my successful ticket swap. I had bleacher tickets to the game today. It was hot out. And humid. Damn hot and damn humid. I needed a seatback. And the only good way to get good seats in the bleachers on a summer weekend is to line up hours before the game, which I couldn’t do because I had some LSAT tutoring to do.
So I went to the game eager to trade my bleacher seats for any pair of tickets plus cash to cover the face value difference. I had something lined up thanks to an internet posting, but the dude backed out when he realized he wasn’t going to get to Wrigley early enough. I went to a few scalpers to try to make the swap. It was a great deal for them since they would make a lot more profit on a bleacher seat than they could on some $20 seats in the back of the upper deck. But the first three foolishly turned me down.
Then I found one willing to trade seats in Section 102, which is the front section way down the left field line. I had to give him $11 per ticket to make up for the difference in face value, but I ended with outstanding seats, especially after the people to the left of me left and, for the first time in my life, I got to sit right next to the wall down the line. Everybody wins. Except for Theriot, who took another step toward losing his job.
By the way, Ronny Cedeno pinch hit and immediately got a single. Lou will see the light soon.
July 25th, 2008
Die Theriot Die
So any regular readers of the blog know that I do not like Ryan Theriot. Anyone who has sat close to me at a Cubs game this year knows I do not like Ryan Theriot.
The reason is simple: Ryan Theriot is not a good major league baseball player, and he has absolutely no business starting at shortstop for the best team in the National League.
Last night at Wrigley Field was perfect. I was sitting in good seats, the Cubs won, and Ryan Theriot made me look good by going 0-4, including hitting a ground ball all the way to the pitcher with the bases loaded and only one out.
To be fair, Theriot is batting .323 and rarely strikes out.
But a closer inspection of his offensive numbers show that the batting average is ultimately not that valuable. First of all, he pretty much only hits singles. Of his 121 hits, 104 of them are singles. He has one triple and one home run. I looked at the players with the top 100 batting averages, and only one has a lower slugging percentage than him.
He’s batting .276 with runners on base and two outs and .262 with runners in scoring position and two outs. With runners in scoring position regardless of the outs, he’s batting .289. The kid don’t like pressure.
Does he make up with that by stealing bases? No. He has been thrown out in 40% of his stolen base attempts this year. That sucks.
Now a singles hitting shortstop with no power and terrible baserunning skills used to be the norm. But since Cal Ripken revolutionized the position, such shortstops have been less and less common. And when they are allowed to start, it’s because they are defensive phenoms.
And here is where my disdain of Theriot really comes out.
Ryan Theriot is the worst defensive shortstop in Major League Baseball.
Simple-minded baseball fans will say, he’s not that bad – he’s got the 14th best fielding percentage in the major leagues among shortstops (3rd from the bottom in the more defensive-minded National League). But he’s only 16th in Range Factor (putouts plus assists divided by number of innings) and he is dead last in Zone Rating (percentage of balls fielded that are hit in his defensive area). Now, those rankings are only among regular shortstops who have been playing close to all season, of which there are only 20.
So Ryan Theriot is in the bottom third in terms of fielding percentage, which calculates how well he does on balls he gets to, and he is dead last in terms of his ability to get to balls.
So Ryan Theriot is a good singles hitter with nobody on base (he only has 28 RBI), an okay singles hitter with runners on base, a shitty base runner, and the worst fielding shortstop in baseball.
Yet for some reason, a significant portion of Cubs fans love the guy. It’s a source of endless frustration for me and will continue to drive my quest to educate the masses at every opportunity I get.
Next opportunity: tomorrow at 12:05. I hope the fans down the left field line in the back section of the upper deck are ready.
July 21st, 2008
Operation Stop Being a Fat Fuck is an Absolute Failure
Starting weight: 224
Last week’s weight: 224
Target weight (maximum): 205
Target weight (ideal): 195
I missed my last report on Operation Stop Being a Fat Fuck because I was in New York and I was too busy thinking about which pizzas I was going to eat rather than remembering to weigh myself.
I did weigh myself last Thursday and my weight that day was the same as it is today.
My lack of exercise and excessive eating over the last couple of weeks has actually not harmed me as I have not gained a pound since my last public weigh-in. Of course, I haven’t lost a pound either.
My ankle is still a little swollen and I think I’m at least a week away from running again. I am signed up for a half marathon in a little over a month. Running that thing is going to be a bit of a challenge. The guess here is that I will fail.
This week’s weight: 224
Change from two weeks ago: No change.
It’s been six weeks and I’m still every bit as much of a fat fuck as I was when I started.
July 21st, 2008
Denver
So this was my second trip to Denver, adopted hometown of my older sister and her family. My nephew has almost reached the age of being a legitimate person, so it was time to visit.
Unlike my previous trip to Denver last Thanksgiving, I actually left the house this time. Not too often – it was 100 degress outside – but I saw a couple of key sights.
Up first, ice cream. I owe it to my stomach to try out good ice cream places. After all, if a store is going to have the decency to make homemade ice cream, I ought to have the decency to try it. So my, the brother-in-law and the child headed to Bonnie Brae Ice Cream. I try not to be rude to the ice cream flavors by picking just one, so I settled on a scoop of Lotta Chocolate (chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips, chocolate fudge marble, and brownie nut fudge) and a scoop of Butter Brickle. The woman scooping the ice cream offered to give me two half scoops of each rather than two full scoops, but I thought hey, I’m fat and I’ve got a sprained ankle keeping me from exercising, why would I want half scoops? It was a good decision – this was some fine ice cream.
The child got a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream. I think he liked it.
The next trip out of the house was when I dragged my sister to the Rockies/Pirates game on Saturday night. This was my first trip to Coors Field (only five more teams left to visit) and I got the privilege of seeing the bad Colorado Rockies host the absolutely shitty Pittsburgh Pirates. The first order of business was getting tickets. I looked on craigslist and saw about three people selling tickets. I posted a couple of times seeking tickets, but apparently the Denver scalpers flag those posts as they were both removed within fifteen minutes. I then looked on eBay where I saw a first – not a single person had tickets listed for the game.
We got to the stadium and I talked to a few scalpers, but they wanted at least face price. One guy actually wanted more than face and he was not too happy with me when I laughed at him. Anyhow, we got in line and got a pair of $10 tickets and headed to the upper deck. The views were nice (Rocky Mountains in the background), the game was boring (the Pirates really do suck), and the fans were surprisingly enthusiastic. The highlight of the game was when I got some bulls’ testicles in my mouth. $7.50 for some Rocky Mountain Oysters – most definitely the most unique food available in an American sports venue. They were not that good.
Sunday morning included a trip to the zoo and to the barber.
And after missing my flight Friday afternoon, I showed that I learned my lesson by getting to the gate for my 5:30 flight at exactly 5:32. Fortunately, the flight was delayed by 20 minutes, which means I was on time.